I always sit down and say to myself "I'm going to write a blog tonight!" But then I never do because I realize they would all say the same thing. Today I sat on my butt, watched TV, did nothing special. I'm sure that's not all I would say but what I am saying is I don't do much except spend time with Daniel, and I wouldn't have it any other way! So I am not abondoning my blog, I just simply don't have much going on in my life right now. Here is an update though! Things are all done for the wedding. EVERYTHING! 6 months of stress and tears, finally we can relax and go on vacation!! 20 more days until we go to Texas for 2 and half weeks! I am so ready for a vacation! I think my mom needs one more than me though, she has done 98% of the things for the wedding! I cannot thank her enough for it. I know both of us will have a huge weight lifted off our shoulders when it's all over! My new stress in my life is finding an apartment. Trust me, I have looked at every apartment/condo/house/cardboard box in Orem/Provo area. So today we went to a basement apartment in Orem. It had a fenced backyard and little boxed garden things so you can plant flowers! We just could let ourselves in, so we did. We walked into a HUGE kitchen with so many cubboards and a huge place for a table. Daniel said "I hope that's not the living room!" So we walk into the hallway and to the left there is a bedroom, then in the hall a bathroom, and a laundry room, and a water heater room, then we see the big bedroom with a nice big sliding door closet! Then the HUGE living room with a fireplace. I danced around and ran all around the house. I'm glad it was just me and Daniel there! It was such a great feeling because after looking at every apartment and not liking certain ones for certain reasons, we found this one that had EVERYTHING we loved. It's in Orem, it allows pets, it's 2 bedroom, huge kitchen, nice backyard. So many good things about it. So we called the people immediatly after and told them we wanted it! So she sent us an application and we are giving it to her tomorrow. I don't want to get my hopes up but I feel so good about it. I have been praying about finding a good place that has our needs for so long. I also have been praying for someone to buy my contract that I'm in right now just so I can save a few hundred dollars for July and August. And I have one girl who is really interested in it. I'm so grateful, and I know Heavenly Father is watching out for us! I really REALLY hope we get it because I don't want to keep looking. So somethings have been happening in our family that I'm not going to bring up right now, but I heard a song the other day and a line in it made me cry. I am changing a few words. My heart is breaking for my brother and the con that he called "love" But when I look into my nephew's eyes, Man you wouldn't believe, the most amazing things, that can come from, some terrible nights. Tears come to my eyes when I hear that, because it's so true. I love my nephew and niece SO MUCH. And I am so grateful to have them in my life! Again, Heavenly Father has blessed me with these little munchkins! I just got REALLY emotional, and really missing all of my nieces and nephews. This post was not supposed to be a sad sappy post about being homesick but it did! I just looked at a zillion pictures of them so I am going to post them because they are so cute! I love you guys so much!!

I suppose it's time to write a new blog..

Well my life is fabulous! I am going to hair school right now, which is my calling in life. Still working at the same place, and living at home. I love living here, reading back on my old posts, I was so emo about living in Logan, but I wasn't happy at all, I am so happy here! I love my family and being with them.

Uhhh nothing is really going on in my life, I pretty much just told you all of it haha. I hate the fact that it's 7:30 and it's dark! I have been in my bed all day!

That's when I know that God does exist..

I have so many thoughts right now, and I have to let it out.

A girl in my class asked another girl if she ever gets so annoyed that her husband is talking she just wants to scream...This girl replied with, "no not really..we never fight." She explained to me that she got married at 19, in the temple. She is 24 now and would not change one thing about her life.. Her and her husband have their arguments but hardly ever fight..

I told my boss Jen, this story, she is getting married Saturday. I asked if she was having cold feet and she said not at all.. A customer over heard and said I have been married to my wife for 24 years and we never fight! I laughed, and I said wow, you guys have a good relationship. I guess i'm dumb or something cause I always fight in my relationships maybe that is why I am still single.. And Jen said maybe that is why you aren't with them anymore because it wasn't right and you need to find the one person you don't fight with.. I thought about that all night. It's so true. I know I say this quote all the time but it is so true.. "Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else" It's like that saying, the thing you are looking for is always in the last place you look! Hah well of course it is cause then you stop looking.. I want to find someone that I can find and stop looking for someone better.. I want to be happy and truly love them. I know I will find them...But it's been so hard lately.

I cry every time I hear this song. Every single time. I think of it as him singing to his future love.. Just talking about how he has waited for so long and now he knows its right. Read very carefully.

I've been alone so many nights now
And I've been waiting for the stars to fall
I keep holding out for what I don't know
To be with you
Just to be with you

So here I am, staring at the moon tonight
Wondering how you look in this light
Maybe you're somewhere thinking about me, too
To be with you... there's nothing I wouldn't do

And I can't imagine two worlds spinning apart,
Come together eventually
And when we finally meet I'll know it's right
I'll be at the end of my restless road
But this journey, it was worth the fight
To be with you

Just to be holding you for the very first time,
Never letting go
What I wouldn't give to feel that way
Oh, to be with you
And I can't imagine two worlds spinning apart,
Come together eventually

And when you're standing here in front of me
That's when I know that God does exist
'Cause he will have answered every single prayer
To be with you

Just to be with you.

I realize I haven't wrote for a while, I just have to be in the mood.

My heart hurts right now, I am being a baby but I can't help it. Have I made the right decisions in life? Should I still be at Utah State or should I be going to hair school like I want? Should I have dated this guy or ended it with this guy? I wish I had answers..
I wish I knew why I couldn't talk to guys.. I wish I knew why I had so much anxiety when I meet new people or go somewhere alone..It's so hard for me to introduce myself to boys, I guess I just don't have the confidence. I think that they will be thinking "Oh freak why is this girl talking to me?" I wish I could get over that feeling..but I have been that way my whole life. My mom gets so mad at me because I am not as bold and blunt as she would want me to be. I want to do things my own way.. If I don't feel comfortable doing something, I won't do it. It's just how I am and I wish my mom would understand me on that, because that is the main reasons we fight. I am going to find a boy one day who exceeds all my dreams and wants. I am not going to settle for someone that I do not feel comfortable with.

I went and saw Funny People today, and Adam Sandler was very sick in it, he was so close to dying..And he decided to do what he loved for the last moments he had, which was stand up. He went and told the girl he loved that he loved her and wanted to be with her.. And it just comes back to the point of live as if today were your last day. I have been thinking a lot about the end of the world...No one knows when it's coming, but I know that I will have lived my life the way I wanted it to be. I can't get everything I want, I am not perfect, but I can work as hard as I can to be happy and have no regrets.

"No Day but Today" -Rent

Gah.

I am so angry. But yet I am still kind of in a happy mood.

I have loved Adam Lambert all season. First time I saw him, I fell in love. Many people don't like him because they think he is gay, if he is so be it. I love him for his voice and his unique style and personality. I was almost for sure he was going to win, but guess what. Kris stupid Allen did. I was so mad, I was 50 50 the day before, but he did so good in the result show. I was so mad I just turned off the tv when they announced it. Kris himself even said Adam deserved it. It is stupid to get so mad over a show, but Adam really did deserve it. He is amazing. I looooove him. Oh well, Life goes on right? Just kind of sucks, actually it really sucks.

Anyway. Funny thing happened, I was on my way to work the other day and there was a bee in the car! I got scared I rolled down the window to let it out, which happened to be in our back up car we have that I have to drive until my car is fixed. So I rolled it down and the bee flew out, and I rolled the window back up, but it didn't roll up! So that windows now broken. As well as the driver side window, and the left back window. There is one sucessful window now, and I drive a half hour to work everyday in the cold. Sweet. So my dad went to fix it, and it shattered. Hahahaha. This car sucks, so we are going to sell it at this place where you get 75 dollars a ton. Then that will give me some money for my new/old car. Haha.

I'm so lucky to be who I am. I love my family so much. I love my house and my job. I love just being alive. I am happy, I could be happier but who couldn't?

I just wanted to write and let it all out how mad I was about Adam, then I just felt the need to tell that story. Be back later!

hokay so.

I totally never write blogs anymore. My life is boring so I never really mention it.
I am still working at Gay Old Navy. I get about 3 hours a week. I'm not kidding. I seriously don't get any hours so I am trying to find a full time job. I got a new car, about a week later it broke down and needs a new 900 dollar engine. Oh yeah since I have an awesome job I can so afford that. So for now, I am driving my fathers boatmobile. It is the biggest car ever and so embarrassing.

Well I just wanted to give an update on my life. I know you all missed me. :D

What's a blog?

I have not wrote for a while. I miss it! I just don't get on the computer to much now a days. Things have been great in my life. I discovered that I was truely depressed in Logan, and now being home has just been an answer to my prayers.

So anyway, here are some updates on the last month.
Did I mention I got a job at Old Navy, well I did and have been working there for 3 months. I work almost every day there, but only for a couple hours. Come visit me sometime!! I want to get a full time job at an office or something, but I think I may wait a while.

Gabe turned 3, and is the cutest thing I have ever seen. He is such a sweetheart. We went to Build a Bear on Saturday and he got the coolest t-rex ever! You have to watch the video I post on here. He just has the biggest heart. I love that guy so much. I can't wait for Baby Dash and Baby Somebody else. Haha we don't know if it's a boy or girl yet!! We went to the Fashion Place Mall and I spent way too much money.... :/

I had a great Christmas. I love the feeling of Christmas, just the wait for it is so much fun. I love my family and the time I got to spend with them.

My dang Suberu broke down. The hot and cold gage thingy went to hot, and I knew that was bad. So I called my brother and he said that was bad and just try to make it home. I prayed my little heart out to get home and the moment I turned the corner to my house, I BROKE DOWN. So I ran and got my dad and he pushed it. So we have had to play musical cars the last week, but luckily it will be done tomorrow!


So there you go. There is my update. I will write again soon.