El oh vee ee.

Haven't wrote a blog for a while.. I really should, because I love to write. I recently rediscovered my passion for writing. I love it. Although I don't know a lot of large words or the correct grammar, I love to write. I think I may pursue that in the future.

Anyway. My life is amazing. I moved back home, the place where I am truly happy. I am around my family, my friends, and most importantly, not school. I have never been one for school, or being away from my family. Mainly my mom. My mom IS my best friend. She seriously knows my soul inside and out. And lately I have been pestering her. Every time I have a break at work I call her, I follow her around the house, I laugh at everything she says. I had been going through withdrawals of her in Logan. I don't know what I am going to do when I get married, my husband will hate my mom! I love being home, I love my family.

I am the most tenderhearted person I know. Besides my sweet little nephew. He has the biggest heart, and when he just says, "Kaykay. I lub you." It brings tears to my eyes. Love is such a funny thing. Those 3 words can change your mood in a matter of seconds. I'm not just talking about in relationships because I wouldn't have any recent experience on those words. I am talking about my obsession with any kind of love. In my past relationships (just know I just said I love you to say it, who knows if I was really in love.) I would say those words whenever I could, and when they didn't say it back...it hurt me. Lately, I have noticed it happening with my family, or my friends. I always say I love you when I walk out the door, or hang up the phone, and if I don't hear it back I either come back through the door and say LOVE YOOOOU so they can hear it, or I dwell upon it. I am so insecure with myself, I need to know that I am loved, even if they just say it to shut me up. Why am I like this, I have no idea.

My new obsession is Sex and the City. I love it. The one I just watched, Carrie told Mr. Big she loved him and he didn't respond..He was afraid to commit as it later shows. If you love someone, tell them. What do you have to lose? You may get your heart broken, but if you don't tell them, you might break theirs.

One more thing. I had an ex who I call Voldamort, he who's name shall not be spoken. We had different lives completely. I would say I love you to my family when I left or whatever. And he would question me everytime. I asked him why he doesn't say it to his family and he said because they already know I love them, I don't need to remind them.
That made me so mad. Maybe they don't know. Maybe they need to hear that once in a while to get through their frikin day.
I tell my family I love them because I do. With everything I have. If I died today, I want my family to know I love them. Simple as that.